My today’s heading might sound ironic to a few people because being emotional is generally considered as a sign of weakness rather than a strength. When we see someone crying while watching movies or during a farewell, feeling passionate and excited about things you love, and considering unethical or angry outbursts over social injustice, we often say he/she is a very emotional person but in fact, these are the signs that you’re human, you are alive. One of my close friends in WHO said that these are not red flags that you need formal help, but yes being emotional becomes a problem when it creates problems in your life.
I believe that a highly emotional person is the one who tends to feel compassionate about things more deeply and probably for a longer run in comparison to the average person, which sometimes makes them feel exhausted from that intense feeling. Parenting on the other hand required this trait to travel down successfully the road of parenthood. We all can recall the bumps in the road or the dangerous curves where we had to help ourselves to buckle the seat belt.
How did you feel when you find your kid struggling with a mature emotion or feeling like sadness or misery?
Today I’m sharing some of the phrases to Use When Your Child is upset as a part of emotion-coaching for parents and guardians. Silence or loneliness is sometimes caused in response to a huge reaction before we find it hard to handle.
Like when his Dad left for a business trip and saying goodbye was unexpectedly really, really rough. Or how for some reason falling down this time and in this place, even though he isn’t hurt bad, is just the last straw — when five minutes earlier he would have stood up and brushed himself off.
That wave of emotion comes out of our kid’s heart and trigger us to be upset too and instead of responding to our kids, we react. We are supposed to be composed and sensitive at that time…
To help our children through their feelings, the following phrases will build the child’s emotional intelligence — these are soul-building phrases.
1. It’s okay to be upset — it’s good to let it out.
2. I hear you — I’m here for you — I’ll stay with you.
3. It’s okay to feel how you feel. It is not okay to _________.”
4. How you feel right now won’t last forever. It’s okay to feel how you are feeling. It will pass and you will feel better again soon.
5. Let’s take a breath, take a break, sit down, pause for a minute…
6. You are good and kind.
7. I’ll be over here when you need me.
8. Let’s have a Do-over!
9. What can we learn from this? What is the lesson in this?
10. You’ll remember Next Time.
A single but simple phrase can communicate so much to children if it is spoken with the right emotion. You have to make your child emotionally strong but sensitive enough to realize the mistake or bad incident. They should know that time doesn’t stop and it can heal anything, their failure today isn’t permanent and that they can change it with determination and wisdom.
Please give them something positive to focus on like “You’ll remember next time to use your words.” It will not only help them to resolve their current feelings but also can support them with a sense of relief and a desire to try next time.
The best gift we can share with other humans is compassion and help them in their emotion. To hold that emotion, to share the joy of that emotion with them. Simply being with our loved ones can help them to strengthen that emotional space. Emotions are not mighty overwhelming things that happen to us, emotions are lines and lessons — emotions are the fine threads to weave out a strong connection, the connection of love with love.